Archive for September, 2013

Losing Johnny
My beloved dog Johnny passed away on August 9 of this year. He was 12 ½ years old, but could have lived for at least another five years, as he was in a good health, active and well adjusted.
Eight days prior to his passing he was vaccinated with one of his yearly shots. I haven’t given it a thought, merely because he hadn’t had any severe reactions in previous years. When he developed the symptoms of joint pain and lethargy I took him to see his vet, who ran some tests and told me that Johnny was having a minor case of arthritis. When I didn’t see the improvement, I decided to take him to a holistic veterinarian, who charged me a big fee and helped little.
Within a day after seeing the second specialist my dog began vomiting blood. My husband and I rushed him to the Oradell Veterinary Hospital, where he passed away peacefully via euthanasia.
Losing Johnny was the most devastating experience of my life. I couldn’t bring myself to do much and simply lay on the couch, my mind wrapped in the haze of guilt and emotional void, blaming myself for not being able to save him and his veterinarian for administering the fatal vaccination to him.
The house that was filled with joy suddenly became empty and cold. When I came home from work the realization that Johnny wasn’t going to greet me at the door was heart wrenching. For 12 ½ years I took for granted the amazing healing work that this dog was able to do by uplifting the vibrations and by just being there, waiting for us patiently and giving us his unconditional love and loyalty.
After a week of despair I began thinking about adopting another dog. Since Johnny was a miniature poodle and my husband was suffering with allergies, my family and I decided that the next dog would also be a poodle. I had no problem finding a breeder within the close proximity of my house who happened to have two puppies for sale.
These days I am supper busy taking care of the new addition to our family, our little Jasper, who opened my heart with his pure energy and love. I still think of my Johnny every day, of unexpected circumstances that led to his death and of my inability to save him. Having no control over the situation was one of the most difficult lessons that I had learned. Getting up and moving forward was another one.
I realize now that accepting death and truly encompassing the aspect of transitioning over was an essential step in my evolvement. There are no set rules of how to deal with loss; I am managing to the best of my abilities and still learning each day to love life, with all of its ups and down, curves, floods, and hurricanes. I see the road ahead of me, unfolding, and I am ready to walk it and to make my mark as a humble being placed on this Earth. When I think of Johnny I remember the way he made me feel and the joyful moments that he brought into my life. I realize now that his time to pass on was now and I accept it.

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